Reclaiming Christmas!

We all know that Christmas is coming, after all, it is all over every box store out there from Wal-Mart to JC Penney’s. It seems that Thanksgiving is been completely obliterated by the push to get Christmas to us sooner but we all know they don’t want us to come and adore but come and spend. This year, I am going to join their ranks and push Advent and Christmas a bit early but an Advent and Christmas focused on Christ and His arrival to us as a baby. Consider utilizing this time of early advertising before Advent to get your Advent pulled together.
I remember thinking that God was quite wise when He gave us, as parents, a full nine months (give or take) to prepare for the arrival of our children. For some, this time was longer or shorter if an adoption was involved but, for the most part, we all have a good deal of time allotted to us to make sure that we have all we need for the newest arrival. It is a blessing for both us and the baby that they don't usually arrive in a day or even a week! If we apply this same analogy to Christmas we realize that we have known about its arrival for...well, really for our entire lives. We know it is coming, it comes every year after all, so why do we always seem to be so caught off guard?
For the first time, I suggest that perhaps Wal-Mart or whomever, might be onto something. I am suggesting that you don’t put off considering Christmas, perhaps even making any necessary purchases now before it gets ‘too late’. And too late is when what you need for Christmas Day overwhelms what you need to do before Christmas Day. In other word, are your worries for Christmas overwhelming your Advent?
By giving Christmas - the more secular aspects of it at least - some consideration before Advent arrives might allow you to give Advent the true time, consideration and devotion it deserves. In relating this back to the arrival of the baby, every pregnancy requires time to gather the necessary physical supplies and clothes that every baby requires regardless of family. But we also need to prayerfully consider what our baby requires as they join our family. Perhaps this can take place in our families in regard to Advent and Christmas.
You know you will get a tree and some presents, plan a meal and make travel plans; after all, every family will be doing that. Instead consider what will your family - with its own personal mission and vocation from God - do this Advent? This same attitude applies to your groups - what will they do to make the meetings that coincide with Advent more focused on Christ's arrival and their preparation? Planning a service project for the needy could be done now and not left to the night before. Perhaps helping the kids to bring Advent to their own families with the creation of a simple Advent paper ring with a simple activity each day. With this in mind, you may only need to unpack familiar favorites and replace the pink and purple candles but perhaps you want some ‘new ideas’ for Advent.
A quick search on the internet reveal some good places to start such as: www.holyheroes.com where you can sign up for a free Advent Adventure or be inspired by ideas at www.catholicmom.com or www.catholic.org. And you can always ask at your parish. It just might be that your own parish has a library of ideas or a staff person eager to share. Keeping in mind that Christmas is a time for giving, realize that your enthusiasm and need for a great Advent might give your pastor or DRE a much needed boost of enthusiasm for their vocation.
While I don’t want to hear any Christmas music - secular or otherwise - until Advent starts, and I am not suggesting we start decorating as the stores do, giving Advent and Christmas some thought and preparation before Advent arrives will surely make it easier to dedicate the season to Jesus who is, after all, the only reason to do it!

New Book Available NOW!

The Wreath I Virtue Stories is now available! Full of adventures and valuable lessons, this book comtains stories of virtues as they apply to young girls' lives. There is a story for each virtue in Wreath I an deach is based on real events...allowing the girls to relate to them on a very real level! Each story ends with discussion questions. They can be read and discussed as a group or read simply for individual enjoyment!

Click here to order! SPECIAL OFFER just in time for Christmas ordering: Order a Little Flower Doll and get the Virtue Book for 1/2 price! These dolls correspond to the characters in the book: Maggie, Mary Rose and Teesa. Offer is good for online orders only and expires November 15, 2009. Enter coupon code: VIRTUEDOLL on checkout.

A Generation of Lydias?

This past summer my dear husband, Matt conquered something I had not yet been successful in doing. He read “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen. This accomplishment came as a result of his long commute for work (2+ hours each way by train) and the realization that despite my claim that I ‘love’ Jane Austen I had never read the book. He would read something that I had not read! Amazing!

Now, I have seen every movie of this wonderful story, with the Colin Firth version edging out the Kyra Knightley one slightly. I have seen the other Jane Austen treasures bought to screen, but am embarrassed to admit I had never read them, any of them, in their entirety. I have made attempts throughout my growing up years but always failed. I would give up on the language and the descriptions and came to decide that ‘classics’ weren’t for me!

If you will humor me, I would like to share an illustration of just how pathetic I was in this regard. During my 10th year of school I had Mrs. Higgins for English. Everyone has a “Mrs. Higgins” in their school memories. She was infamous in my high school for being demanding, critical and very out-of-date. She wore black on report card day and stood barely 5 ft. tall. She not only expected her students to read but went so far as to hand out a list of what you could read - nothing else was allowed when a “book report” was due, which was once a month. These reports were written during class time based on questions she distributed and were required to be at least 200 words. There would be no using CliffNotes or cheating here, you couldn’t pay anyone to write this paper for you. It was all your own work and your words. Getting an “A” in Mrs. Higgins’ class was a historic moment and cause for pride.

I, however, was excited to have her as a teacher and took her on as a challenge, after all, I was a voracious reader and got nothing but ‘A’s’ in English/Literature. I read 2-3 books a week and was a frequent ‘shopper’ at both our school and public library. When, during the first week of classes some 25+ years ago, she asked if anyone liked to read I quickly raised my hand. “What did I like to read”, she queried. “Anything but the classics” was my arrogant reply. I saw her brow furrow and felt the heat from her laser stare. “And what do you deem a classic?”, she demanded. “Anything written before I was born”, I replied and, yes, with all the disrespect and sarcasm you imagine. I am mortified by this memory and it came back to haunt me this past summer.

Once Matt began reading the saga of Elizabeth and Darcy, he wanted to share his insights and excitement. But my movie experience was nothing (as you all know) compared to the actual story. To be able to keep up the discussion and salvage my own pride, I had no choice - I had to read the book. As is always the case, it is not the movie and so much better than I imagined. I had much to learn from Miss Austen.

For our purposes here, I want to share about what I learned specifically from Lydia, the youngest of the five Bennett daughters. For those of you who have not read the book (or even seen the movie), she is described in the beginning of the book as such, “a stout, well-grown girl of fifteen, with a fine complexion and good-humored countenance; a favorite with her mother, whose affection had brought her into public at an early age. She had high animal sprits, and a sort of natural self-consequence, which with the attentions of the officers, to whom her uncles’ good dinners and her own easy manners recommended her, had increased into assurance.” She almost brings complete ruin upon the family when she elopes with the awful Mr. Wickham. Mr. Wickham, a long time acquaintance of Mr. Darcy, “has neither integrity nor honor. That he is as false and deceitful, as he is insinuating.”, who convinces Lydia to leave with him. Matthew and I are divided as to wether this was done by him with no intention of marriage but only in the hopes of gaining a mistress (Matt’s view and the correct one) or some dowry funds from Mr. Bennett (my more hopeful view).

Regardless, by the time the news of the elopement has reached the ears of Elizabeth, we discover that Lydia “has never been taught to think on serious subjects; and for the last half year, nay, for a twelvemonth, she has been given up to nothing but amusement and vanity. She has been allowed to dispose her time in the most idle and frivolous manner, and to adopt any opinions that came in her way.”

I myself read these words with deep embarrassment as those could have been used to describe me at that same age. Lydia was only 15! The age at which I found the reading of “Pride and Prejudice” just too much of a challenge and I let myself be content with mediocre, poorly written romances that were nothing but ‘amusement and vanity’. The age at which Mrs. Higgins took me on as a challenge and led me from shallow thoughts and books to deep reading that showed me the real power of words.

What are we doing for our girls - especially our older girls - are we raising a generation of Lydia’s?

If you are surprised at what I am writing, don’t be worried, I am as well. I am probably more known for my love of joy and eutrapelia than perhaps piety and perseverance. But I love those more ‘heady’ virtues as well. Every virtue is a necessary part of our characters and formation but we all know that some are easier to make our own that others. Such might be said of joy versus moderation which might have been Lydia's struggle. The challenge of us as mothers (and as Catholics) to make sure we are giving our daughters (and ourselves) appropriate challenges based on age, temperament and abilities to tackle the more challenging virtues and more difficult manners and personal habits.

There are any number of struggles to our faith and Christ’s Kingdom during these days and if our daughters are not taught by us; they will taught by someone else. Do not feel as if I am requiring reading of Jane Austen as Mrs. Higgins did (though it might not be a bad idea), but I would want us to remember the words of St. Paul, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.” Phil. 4:8.

Let us not leave our daughters to “ to adopt any opinions that came in her way” but teach them the skills necessary to listen, discern and learn what is true, for they themselves will be teaching others - either their own children or someone else’s possibly as a religious or a teacher.

And while Elizabeth and Darcy’s story has a happy ending, we know nothing of Lydia's which sometimes makes me pause. For while this ‘Lydia’ (me) turned out all right, and even managed to get an ‘A’ from Mrs. Higgins by the end of that year of school, I know other Lydia’s from my grade and past who did not have the same good fortune. Let us be committed to prevent such endings for our daughters and do what we must to ensure they have a better chance that poor Lydia ever did. Asking great things of our daughters and ourselves will be a struggle but have courage for "In Him who is the source of my strength, I have strength for everything!" (Phil. 4:13). Even the tough job of parenting!

(We have many opportunities here at EHP to challenge your girls beyond the ‘idle and frivolous’ wether it be through the Honor Guard or a new look at Little Flowers Wreath One which they might not have seen since they were 5 or 6 years old.)

Wreath I Patches

Just got a call from Quiet Waters Productions, the great people who do the Little Flowers music and patches. They just got a new batch of Wreath I badges from the manufacturer, but they didn't fit together! The manufacturer had made the error and it will take some time to correct and re-produce the badges. They expect the new badges by the first of December.

If you have ordered Wreath I badges recently, they will be shipped when they come in. At present, we are not taking orders for Wreath I badges, except if you are ordering them in a Economy Member Pack or similar package deal. You can still order them this way, so that you will get the discounted bundled price. They will be shipped when they come in.

So sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for your patience and understanding.

God bless, Joan Stromberg, Ecce Homo Press

Is everyone equal?

Yes! There is no doubt from what Christ says and what our Church teaches that we are all equal in God's eyes. We are made in His image and likeness and as such there is no difference between us.

But....we are all so different. Let us never equate difference with better or worse. A child is as vital to God as any adult (the simplest reason behind our Church's clear pro-life teachings) but a child is not an adult as there are clear differences - maturity, size and abilities can come to mind here.

But, both are capable of loving God, enjoying life and finding complete happiness to the best of their ability and capacity.

St. Therese speaks of this in Chapter Two - "I once told you how astonished I was that God does not give equal glory in heaven to all His chosen. I was afraid they were not all equally happy. You made me bring Daddy's big tumbler and put it by the side of my tiny thimble. You filled both of them with water and asked me which was fuller. I told you they were both full to the brim and that it was impossible to put more water in them than they can hold. And so, Mother darling, you made me understand that in heaven God will give His chosen their fitting glory adn that the last will have no reason to envy the first. By such means, you made me understand the most sublime mysteries and gave my soul its essential food."

There in a 'thimble', so to speak, is one of the many small truths of the Little Way. We will be full to the brim when we reach heaven if only we fulfill our purpose from God. We each have our own vocations, missions and roles to fill in His salvation plan. Don't shy away from yours, don't think it is more than you can do - be brave in His grace and know you can do it!

But also - pray to made into a rain barrel!! I do not want to be content to be a thimble full of water but pray that I may be made into a rain barrel or a vast sea full of Him and only Him!

The First Confession for the Little Flower

In Chapter Two - St. Therese comments about her joy at confession - "What a wonderful memory I have of it!....I made my confession like a big girl and received his (Fr. Ducelier) blessing with great devotion, for you had told me that, at that moment, the tears of Jesus would cleanse my soul....I left the confessional happier and more lighthearted that I'd ever been before. After that I went to confession on every big feast day, and every time I went it was a real feast for me."

Her comment reminded me of an experience my own house. This past year, my 8 yr. old son received his First Confession. I prepared him as I had the previous children - we fulfilled the requirements of our parish and off we went as a family to celebrate this wonderful sacrament.

Seeing our children heading into the confessional can be a source of dread for us as parents' can't it? We wonder both how they will do but what they will say about us! What will Fr. now know about our family and ourselves from the honesty and innocence of our children? But you are also are concerned that you prepared your child well; after all we are not Pauline who prepared her younger sister.

I watched nervously as he walked in and then smiled with joy as he walked out - he with even a bigger smile! He slid up to me, gave me a hug, kneeled to say his penance and then gave me another hug! As he did so he whispered in my ear - "Mom, you forgot to tell me something!" My smile fell from my face, my heart dropped in my chest and I wondered what I could have missed, after all I'd done this 7 times before!! I turned to look at him and asked, "What did I forget??!"

He smiled and whispered, "You forgot to tell me how good I'd feel!"

Remember that! Both my Henry and St. Therese know that confession does 'feel' good. And there is nothing wrong with that! Allow our kids to get into feeling how good it is to talk to Jesus. Make it a committed part of your family schedules. While St. Therese made use of big feast days perhaps we might make it more frequently - as our kids are probably not a St. Therese and perhaps could use more regular opportunities for both the peace that confession brings and the grace it affords them.

Some families I know plan it once a month and finish off with a pizza party at home afterwards or a trip out for ice cream. Making it a reliable routine is one of the key building blocks for them to enter into their teens and adult lives.

And - don't think you're off the hook - you need to go as well surely as frequently as your children but probably (if you are like me) more often!!

Let Jesus' tears wash you clean and set you on the path again!!

New Year, New Group!

I had a great talk recently with Michelle who is starting a new group. She has experience not only as a great Mom but also as a DRE. This experience has given her a good background to start a group and during our conversation I was reminded of some of the basic facts of 'group dynamics'. You will want to keep some of them in mind as this new year of meetings (Little Flowers, Blue Knights, Honor Guard or Little Women) begins.So while planning all manner of activities, crafts, outings and service projects, don't forget to keep safety of the group in mind. Wether you are meeting in a home, church facility or other space make sure to remember some basic facts:
-Consider creating an Emergency Contact Form or General Permission form no matter where you are meeting. While it is probably required if you are at a church/school location it also makes sense for a home meeting. Make sure you know each girl's name, full address and contact information. Have the home and cell #'s for both Mom and Dad. Even if a parent is attending the meetings, having the other's # will be helpful in case of an accident and the need arises to get a hold of them. Consider also having an additional emergency contact #. This might need to used if a parent isn't at the meeting and isn't answering their phone. -Make sure to know everyone's allergies - both food and otherwise - children and adults. This makes it easier when planning snacks (peanut allergies) or games (latex allergies - no balloons!). -Have a basic first aid kit ready at every meeting. Consider creating your own in a shoe box or purchase one ready-packed. Perhaps you have a parent/nurse or doctor who can be asked to do this for the group.
-If you are using a church facility, investigate what forms they may require for insurance purposes. Don't be afraid to ask and then be ready to comply. It makes a pastor's job easier when groups are ready to follow any diocesan requirements and this would include us. -Decide what method to use for contacting the group for meetings changes or cancellations. A good old-fashioned phone tree, internet group or e-mails - it doesn't matter - just make sure that everyone knows what method is being used and then commit to using it and checking it. Nothing is worse than thinking e-mails will be sent out and then discovering that someone doesn't have one!
Consider passing this task off to some of the older kids in the group. They might even decide to create a monthly newsletter (as Michelle's daughter is doing) to keep everyone up to date on what has taken place and what is being planned.In addition, please remember that no matter where you are meeting, be sure to include clean-up time into your meeting schedule. Every member should take an active part in making sure the meeting location is left as clean (or better!) than when they arrived. A sure way to keep a pastor or a parent happy is to regard the meeting place as 'special' and making sure it looks and remains that way!Finally, have a great year! Remember to let others (and us) know what is working and what isn't. We're all eager to learn from each others successes and failures! Be assured of our prayers!