A Little Flower Welcome!

I usually use this column to pass along a bit of wisdom or ideas that are easy to write about and convey. Not this month. This month I really want for all of us to examine our attitude toward true charity, hospitality and kindness towards others.

I was inspired to write about this after the recent national news of the tragic death of Phoebe Prince in Northhampton, MA. This beautiful 15 yr. old was pushed to suicide as a result of the on-going bullying by a group of fellow students at her high school.
While I know that none of our groups would ever accept or condone such awful behavior from our children, I am concerned that we aren’t always as welcoming to others as we ought to be.
We have all been the ‘new kid’ at some point in our lives. Whether we have memories from our childhood of arriving new to a school or neighborhood; or moving into a new parish as adults - we all know what it feels like to be unfamiliar and uncomfortable. It is not a pleasant feeling.
Hopefully, though, we can all follow up those uncomfortable feelings with a memory of a child or adult who reached out to us and welcomed us. Maybe it was the kid who showed you where the bathroom was at school or the new neighbor who gave you directions to the perfect park in town. Finding a new, trustworthy friend is an unforgettable and powerful feeling.
But being brave enough - yes, brave enough - to reach out to others is a rare quality. It is easier to remain with familiar friends. Reaching out, not knowing how you will be received, can be unsettling. No one wants to be rejected. However, we are called to a supernatural charity by God and our baptismal grace to see everyone as God does and treat them as His children. This grace should give us the security in knowing that God will be there.
In all Behold Christ groups and programs I would hope that anyone entering the room would perceive a welcome unlike any they have ever encountered. It would be so amazing if they join a group never feeling any discomfort or lack of embrace. Imagine the change that be started by our small actions of acceptance. While we are not called as the first Christians to sell all we own, we called to be ‘of one mind heart and mind’.
Examining yourself in regard to this is not easy. But it is important that we as adults are modeling to our young people a true hospitality that welcomes everyone regardless. Regardless of their income, their clothes, their abilities or their formation. If we are striving to be Christ, bring Christ and leave Christ everywhere we go, we must reflect His own actions.
Berated by the Pharisees for hanging out with the wrong crowd, Jesus was a victim of their bullying. They wanted their words, their rejection and their attitude to change how Jesus acted and treated others. It never did. Jesus continued to welcome everyone. While He did not accept obvious sin, I don’t imagine He checked their clothing labels or their ability to talk about the current hot trends. Jesus took people where they were and then gently led them to where they needed to be.
Jesus was also shut out. There were many who did not welcome Him. We do not know of how many times He reached out to someone who looked at His clothes or His background (“What good can come from Nazareth”) and decided that Jesus just wasn’t cool or didn’t fit in. How many people missed out on knowing Jesus directly because of perceptions and false ideals of what the Messiah is supposed to look like?
Take a moment to think of your own group. Are there families or young people still on the fringes hoping for someone to really welcome them? Is there a real attitude of complete welcome in the group or has an air of ‘in-crowd’ and ‘outsiders’ been allowed to set in?
On the other side, are the girls themselves being modeled and encouraged to be truly charitable and hospitable? There should be no acceptance or tolerance for unkind words or actions from any young people towards any others. As adults, you need to moderate this and be aware of what might be occurring. The stereotype of small groups of pointing, laughing ‘mean girls’ might come to mind but it is often more subtle than that. Often it can be nothing more than a refusal to let someone sit down in ‘their circle’ because of what they wear or what they say. Any subtle attempt to exclude anyone needs to be eliminated.
This is a painful column to write as I have such high hopes that every group is a perfect model of Christian charity and love. But knowing myself and my own faults, I know this is not true or reasonable. I also know, from my own memories, of what it feels like to be both excluded and to exclude; neither of which bring up good memories. As a result, I might be called a zealot on this mission to make sure everyone feels welcomed.
Let us just agree that it is reasonable and Catholic to expect every adult to be a model of real hospitality and good manners and then commit to teaching and forming our own children to do the same. I know we will never accept outright bullying, name calling or abuse by our members but I also hope we never accept the subtle ways we can cause pain and divisiveness by a refusal to see it or act upon it when we do. We need to both keep our ‘inner Pharisee’ in check and be brave enough to stand up to it when we see it displayed by others.
In striving to find some Scriptural support, I reread the very short 3rd Letter of John which speaks a hint of such dealings. Written to a specific person - Gaius - it is writing about the failure of another person, Diotrephes, to accept some of the newer Presybters. It is not known, from the scripture notes given what exactly was occurring but I couldn’t help but think of this column. One line - “I wrote to the Church, but Diotrephes, who loves to dominate, does not acknowledge us.” - rung in my ears. Let us pray no one would ever say that about any of us.
Let us display trustworthy friendship and true charity to all. Let us strive to become a memory of welcome to everyone we meet, but especially those for whom such a memory is only an unfilled hope!
-Rachel Watkins

Diocese of Fargo, ND

Little Flowers and Blue Knights are mentioned as options under the Youth Programs for the diocese of Fargo. Check out this link:
http://www.fargodiocese.org/EducationFormation/Youth/Local&Regional.htm

I lost my glasses and found some perspective

I have had my glasses for over a year now but continue to lose them regularly. I will admit that I don't like wearing glasses as they are an outward sign that I am getting older. When I was younger, I wanted to wear glasses like my best friend, Lorraine. She looked so much smarter and cooler in my eyes due to her glasses. She knew then, as I do now that wearing glasses is a struggle.

You need them to see clearly but you are weighed down both by the pressure they exert (however slightly) on your nose and ears and by the reality that they are there on your face - all the time. You seem to know you weren't born to wear these but they are result of our flawed bodies in a imperfect world.

So I spent last night and most of today without my glasses (hence my late post) and I really need my glasses to see clearly and go headache free. As a result, I was unable to do much of what I usually do and left to do only the essentials of my life. No late night post for you, no early morning e-mail check for me. I was left to keep my hands off the computer and eyes off of books. I could not do what was important!

I was left to do such things as dress my little ones and get my kids breakfast. I did laundry early and cleaned my room (hoping to find the glasses). I was reduced to a pre-computer life and I found myself out of sorts (which at times I took out on myself and my children with snippy answers and general grumpiness).

However, by mid-morning, I had to realize my mood was ruining everyone else's and I needed to make some apologies - to my children and to God. After that was done, I realized I getting quite a bit done despite impaired vision. In fact, I was doing the work I needed to do, really needed to do - the work God intended me to do. Perhaps, as my grandmother would say when things didn't go her way, God set some things aside so that what He wanted could happen without us (and our plans) getting in the way.

What God wanted this morning was children dressed and fed and household chores completed. Not that that doesn't occur every morning in my house but I usually do those mundane chores on my way to other 'more important' activities (those aforementioned emails and postings). Today, they were my only activity as I couldn't manage anything else with my fuzzy vision.

Taking care of my children should never what I do on the way to something else. As important as e-mail has become and as important as impacting on the world via the internet can be (just ask the Pope), our family is our first and foremost vocation and path to heaven.

I found my glasses - hence this post - but I am considering setting them aside each morning until after the important stuff is done. The e-mails can wait, a blog will still be there and a post can be delayed - a bowl of Cheerios and a Thomas the Tank Engine shirt might not!

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Recently, the Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute recommended Little Flowers Girls' Clubs as a Catholic and family friendly alternative to Girl Scouts.

Want to find out how to find or start a Club in your area?

To find a club: check with your local parish or Catholic homeschooling support group. Each group is run independently and there is no national registration of groups.

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Are you asking for your inheritance now?

Today's gospel is so familiar that I was taken off guard when, during Mass, I was struck by a new thought - am I asking God for my inheritance early?

The first son is so easy to 'not like'. He is eager to cast his father aside, run away from where he knows all is well, food is plentiful and life is good! He is not content to wait for his inheritance, he wants it NOW!

I have found, at times, that I am the first son who is standing at his father's feet with his hand out demanding his inheritance. I am not content to wait.

And what is our inheritance - heaven! Heaven!! That is what is waiting for us when we are done here. But, I want heaven now! Not only do I want it - I expect it!!

I want my life to be perfect, I want no more tears, no more illness, no more sorrow and I want it now! I refuse to accept, to believe that my expectation is not only as greedy as the son but impossible to grant. I am asking God for what I cannot have. What He cannot give because it is not for now, it is for later - forever! But, every day I demand it and every day I find ways to blame others (and God) when heaven is not here. And the results of my demands, my impatience for my inheritance is as awful for me and my family as it was for the son. Perhaps, even worse.

What does my impatience create? Stress and a lack of acceptance! I am short-tempered, harsh on myself and my family. I want heaven now and perfection now! In my greed for the future, I am missing out on the now, on what I am supposed to be doing right now. I am losing out on those 'immediate moments of holiness' that come along every moment, every day. So eager for what God has promised me for tomorrow, I am missing out on what He needs from me today!

Expecting my inheritance, heaven, now, demanding it now is a sign of disrespect for not only God but for all those around me. My inheritance is there - heaven is waiting.

Let us practice patience for ourselves and for our daughters by living a life that works hard on today knowing that our reward, our inheritance is waiting. Reminding ourselves of that truth, that reality will help us be more focused mothers and teachers. Let us keep our eyes on today and know that God has taken care of tomorrow!

No blogging due to snow - But let's talk about LOVE!

We are still digging out from the four plus feet of snow here on the East Coast. This resulted in computer problems which have since been worked out.

And what a joy that I can post a bit of my nonsense on Valentine's Day when we celebrate love. Love for God, our Church, others and ourselves. Yes, ourselves. On a day when we tend to make sure everyone around us knows we love them, take some time to give yourself a little peptalk and love letter.

In today's culture, when family size is being debated on the cover of People magazine and public figures are publicly and unapologetically indiscrete our decision to be open to life and true to our vows and God's call can be difficult.

St. Valentine knew the power of a good letter (taking a page from Sts. Paul and Peter and the other NT writers) in encouraging his people onward during difficulties. Letters have power to build up or tear down. Take a moment to build yourself up.

Write yourself a love letter - tell yourself all that you do that make you proud. List your own accomplishments and celebrate being Catholic, faithful and proud of it.

While our family's have told us today, make time to tell yourself and set the letter aside so that you have it turn to when life gets you down.

And here's my love letter to you - thank you for carrying on. You all make me so proud of being involved in something so wonderful.

Another Therese, the Little Flower song!

If you are not familiar with Nick Alexander, songwriter and comdedian, you should check out his stuff. It is great! My teens love it and so do I. Here is a song on St. Therese to the tune of "Electric Avenue." Too cute!

http://www.last.fm/music/Nick+Alexander/_/Therese+of+Lisieux

Click at the top right to hear the song.

God bless, Joan